“Hi everybody
This isn’t going to be a nice post so i decided to cushion the blow by leading with a picture where i look literally amazing.
I have had insta/tiktok/twitter deleted from my phone for some time now for the preservation of my mental health, but the discourse this week appears to be so large that it has still gotten back to me.
As such i felt compelled to wade in and speak for myself !!!it’s been very hard to try and describe how difficult the last few days since the bbcr1 big weekend have been, but I came across an essay on substack by a blog called Front Row Feels which really has summed up a lot of what is causing my deep sadness, so I decided to add it into my post (swipe right to read, I’m also gonna link in stories) it is literally so boring for me, a gorgeous genius, to keep having to yap on about how horribly I am treated because of my body.
I would love to stop but I cannot because it keeps happening , at an accelerating and worsening pace as I become more famous. There is no relief from this- nobody can protect me or save me from this, and all that is demanded of me is more and more work as every environment I am placed in becomes more hostile.
I also want to point out, to some very well-meaning people, that I am not being defiant. I am not choosing to look like this or weigh this much as some kind of punk rock act of liberty. I simply have a body, one that I would of course like to change in order to fit in and avoid all of this abuse, but I have had extreme difficulty in doing so.
I don’t get a say in whether or not i want to be brave, I simply have to sit here and take it. With all that being said, I am at the same time very very happy and grateful every day to have the job that I have.
The feeling of seeing all your dreams come true after so many years of constant grinding towards them….. chefs kiss. But the success is increasingly becoming tarnished by the fact that I would be allowed to enjoy it so much more if I was thin.
With deep sadness
CMAT
