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I wouldn’t marry him until he paid off his debt, now I’m in charge of our money

All Access London Team by All Access London Team
July 17, 2026
in UK
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I wouldn’t marry him until he paid off his debt, now I’m in charge of our money
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When Sarah Reeve got engaged she gave fiance Lee an ultimatum: he had to pay off his debt before she would marry him.

“I was paying my mortgage and bills whereas he was giving his mum some rent,” Sarah says of their situations when they met in their early 20s.

“I told him I wouldn’t marry him if he had any debts,” says the 45-year-old.

So they set a wedding date for two years ahead which gave Lee the time to pay off the £2,000 bank loan – £4,000 in today’s money, external – he had taken out to buy a car.

Once Lee’s debt was cleared, the couple paid everything into a joint account and Sarah took charge of bills, saving and budgeting.

“He said ‘you can sort it all out and take charge with money because I’m rubbish with it,'” she says.

Sarah’s experience reflects a wider trend of more than four fifths of women being actively involved in managing daily finances like day-to-day spending and household budgeting, according to St James’s Place’s Women and Wealth Report.

Sarah earns £24,000 working part-time in insurance and Lee worked in maintenance at the same factory for 27 years, earning about £26,000, before being made redundant four years ago.

He now works for himself in property maintenance and earns about £30,000.

The couple, who have been together for 25 years and have two daughters, aged 19 and 21, have always thought of money as shared.

“It’s very much our money rather than mine or yours which is really nice especially as I took four years off work when we had children,” says Sarah.



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