Nelli Gdadebo was told not to worry about the lumps in her breast while she was pregnant by a midwife
A South London woman who was told that ‘it was normal to have lumps’ before later finding out that she actually had breast cancer.
Mother of three, Nellie Gbadebo, 29, from Croydon, was diagnosed with an estrogen-positive cancer that had spread from her breasts to her lymph nodes. When she first found the lump during her first pregnancy, she spoke to her midwife, who told her it was normal to have lumps on her breasts if she wasn’t breastfeeding, saying it was most likely a blocked milk duct.
During her third pregnancy, Ms Gbadebo says she found another lump and knew this time something wasn’t right.
“I spoke to my GPs about it, and it came back that it was breast cancer that spread from the breast to the lymph nodes,” Ms Gbadebo said, “It all could have been avoided if I had been examined the first time, and we could have avoided the cancer travelling.”
“I was diagnosed in 2023, and that was the same year I got married. I had radiotherapy and chemotherapy as part of my treatment. Being diagnosed at 26, this type of cancer has a higher chance of coming back within 10 years compared to a woman in her 50s. On top of everything, you hear from different oncologists and radiographers, who tell you you’re so young to have cancer. [To stop the chances] of the cancer coming back, the doctors said ‘look we don’t want to take any risks. Let’s shut off all your estrogen hormone. They medically induced me into an early menopause at 29.
“It was a really challenging time, and my eldest was three. It felt like my future plans had been shattered. I felt like I couldn’t mother. During the treatment, it also felt really isolating because it’s a hazardous drug; you learn that people close to you can experience the same side effects, so you need to have your own space.”
On top of the isolation from the treatment, Nellie found that there weren’t many other Black mums that she could relate to about her situation. Her family and friends couldn’t understand what she was going through, so she decided to go public with her story in search of a community. She ended up creating Touchy Feely – a cultural group that is hoping to bridge the gap between culture and cancer.
“When I went public, I had women reaching out to me saying that they’ve been diagnosed but hadn’t told anyone. I asked: ‘Where is your support system, or who is supporting you?’ It put things into perspective for me because there were students going through this from Black, African-Caribbean households and that pressure to perform overrode a life-altering illness. I knew that’s why I wanted to use my voice and platform to amplify the stories of otherBlack and Brown people”, Nellie explained.
On Saturday (July 18) Nellie will be hosting a pop-up event in Shoreditch called ‘The Girls Bathroom’ in partnership with the North London Cancer Alliance. Their aim is to help women be proactive with breast cancer, with a spotlight on supporting ‘ethnic minority women who are often overlooked’.
Women attending will be able to access GPs and have conversations around cancer with other women in a ‘judgement-free’ environment. There will be informal drop-in conversations led by young cancer survivors, breast care professionals and trained facilitators. They will be talking about a range of breast health-related topics, including breast changes women often ignore, what happens when you get checked and how to advocate for yourself.
The bathroom also features a private space for questions, demos and conversations with health professionals. A ‘sink’ area also acts as a main floor area for facilitated conversations and panel talks. A photo feedback wall gives women the chance to post photos of themselves and share what they’d like to see more of. There will also be a DJ playing live music
Nellie said: “Ever since creating Touchy Feely, people are always saying how grateful they are because it’s not easy to find a group of young women in this same situation. These are young women who are starting new careers or trying to find partners, and something like this happens, completely knocking them off their feet. With Touchy Feely, they can have impactful conversations with each other, and people are always grateful and thank me.
“I hear from people that they are always told they’re young, but the data now should tell you that women are being diagnosed younger and younger – so the whole ‘you’re so young’ should never be an excuse to not look into a patient’s case. That’s where the frustration comes in. Cancer doesn’t discriminate; it doesn’t care about your age, your race or your financial status – it can affect everyone.
“Now, we’ve partnered with the NHS; it’s the only way we can make a change. We want to be part of the decision-making on how we approach the community about cancer care and cancer awareness. Culturally competent care should be standard, but in care settings, we find it is often left behind. We can’t afford not to have these conversations; that’s why Saturday is so important.
“The Girls’ Bathroom in a club or a restaurant is a place where strangers become friends. So I want to bring that same energy to a space for the community.”
The Girls’ Bathroom will take place at UNLOCKED, Shoreditch, 118 Curtain Road, EC2A 3PJ, from 12pm. Tickets are free but spaces are limited.
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