The children contribute small amounts from their pocket money and also vote on household decisions
A mum has come up with a unique system where she “taxes” her seven-year-old daughter’s pocket money and gets her kids involved in voting on family decisions – and claims it gives her children a sense of responsibility they’ll need in adult life.
Phoebe Lee, 35, has set up what she calls a “mini democracy” in her Twickenham, West London, home, where her young children get a say in certain household decisions and chip in small amounts from their pocket money into a shared family fund.
Phoebe lives with her husband Alex and their three kids, aged seven, four and two. The couple foot the bill for all the big household costs, but Phoebe says the whole idea is to give their children a sense of ownership, responsibility and an understanding of how things like public services actually work.
The AI architect and founder of Inherit Health said: “I am aware there are so many decisions that are made for our kids, and they have a lot of agencies in a lot of areas, and we try to give them control when we can.”
She added: “While Alex and I pay for everything, this is their house too – we want them to feel like they can make decisions in their home.”
It all started with some simple voting at home, inspired by Phoebe’s passion for ethical technology and her husband’s job as a public servant. She wanted to introduce ideas like contribution, community responsibility and decision-making in a way that actually made sense for her kids’ ages.
She said: “Being in ethical tech – I want them to learn a lesson. My husband is a public servant and we wanted them to feel that community contribution. We encourage the children to understand where money goes, including donations and public services. We handle donations and make sure we donate time or second-hand bits, or my daughter sells bracelets.”
At the heart of it all is what the family jokingly calls a “fun tax”, where everyone – parents included – puts a small amount in each week. The pot then gets spent on treats or bigger family purchases. Her seven-year-old currently puts in around 20p a week from her pocket money, with her four and two-year-old set to join in once they’re old enough to have their own cash.
Phoebe explained: “She gets £3 a week in pocket money and £1 goes into savings. Then she can make other money from chores, but we are very strict on what they are. We haven’t got much in the pot yet, but we are hoping to increase our side and have around £300 by December.”
She added: “The contribution is symbolic rather than financially significant – my husband and I are paying far larger amounts into the same system. It’s supposed to be fun tax – we are not making them pay the Wi-Fi or the rent.”
She and her husband each put in around £4 a week, with plans to up their contributions as the scheme grows, while keeping the kids’ amounts small as a teaching tool. She added: “The tax is about everyone. She will feel like she has contributed, even though it’s much less than us. There’s something in that where she feels like she’s paid for it too.”
Phoebe says the whole idea is about teaching budgeting and the value of waiting for something, while also showing how collective decision-making works in the real world.
The family holds votes on shared purchases or activities, and the kids are encouraged to put forward their own ideas too. For Phoebe, it all ties into bigger lessons she wants her children to take away about society, public services and fairness.
She’s been finding age-appropriate ways to introduce concepts around tax and public services, pointing to the NHS and state education as examples of things we all pay into together.
She explained: “We are trying to keep her informed in an age-appropriate way. She benefits from things like the NHS and state school because we pay taxes for them – I want her to start to understand them.”
She added: “I want her to understand the system is designed in the UK to avoid entitlement while still giving children a sense of inclusion in family life. It is about bringing them into decisions in a way that doesn’t feel burdensome.”
The family is hoping the “fun tax” pot will grow steadily over time, with Phoebe joking it could eventually stretch to something bigger – like a trampoline.
She said: “We anticipate to grow the funds… which could buy a great second-hand trampoline. It’s not about control, it’s about understanding how things work in a family, and eventually in the world.”
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